Saturday, December 06, 2003

I'm not good with goodbye's

Off to the airport,
I hate goodbye's, specially someone real close.
You come to terms that he'll no longer be there
to listen to the whining, bitching, complains and et cetera.
He's gone. Who's to replace his company?
The bestest guy friend.
Like a girl's soul trapped in a boy's body.
We talk for hours about everything and anything.
I'm missing you hell lot.
Hurry back some time soon.

Mallory's for Nickee's surprise mini party.
To put it simply it was cosy nice.
A lil gathering and off I went at 6 in the morning.
A snapple at Coffee Bean's - evening, with the classmates.
We did the usual catching up.

Sos at night read hell boring!
My babe Min wasn't there and that makes it worse.
Crowd wasn't that good.
Eye candies there, yummy. *grins at Mal.
Home with Derek and Bhuvan.

Probably stay home today.
Been out to much and I'm flat broke.

Entry.Posted @ 12/06/2003 02:55:00 PM |



Wednesday, December 03, 2003

I need company

Entertained by boys who could not behave themselves
Being all silly acting as camera crew
of some top notch production company.
To town at first with the intention to shop
with the 'oh i didn't forget the long lost bestie'
Light entertainment,
off we went to Hendrix
to drink the Monday blues away.
Spell b o r i n g.
To lorong Ah Soo It was.
For ages we sat waiting
for the planners to come up
with a perfect plan to kill time
Intention to drink but alas we wasted 10.65.
5 of us squeezed in a cab.
Techno blasting through the sound system.

I have dark circles under my eyes.
Sleepless nights. Rude awakening dreams.
I hate holiday periods.
Hand me some sleeping pills.

Job hunting next week.
Pass me the cheque please.
The class girlies and me.
Time to do more serious shopping.
Money come money goes.

Friday - out with the darling Min.
Sentosa morning. *prays hard for the sun
Town late afternoon.
Probably drinking session evening.

He's leaving the other's working.
I need late night company.
Any takers?

Entry.Posted @ 12/03/2003 12:42:00 AM |



Thursday, November 27, 2003

I don't know whether my blog is still working
but when i entered the url add
someone else's blog popped up.

I'm blogging just to see whether it publishes
and if i can still see the blog page.

Entry.Posted @ 11/27/2003 09:25:00 PM |



Saturday, November 22, 2003

Smile for it's all over now

Picture
Livin my life in a slow hell
Different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine
In three damn days
Been fuelin'up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways
I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her
I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her

I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But their half-hearted smiles tell me somethin' just ain't right
I've been waitin' on you for a long time
Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights
I put your picture away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him
I put your picture away
I wonder where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
It was the same old same how've you been?
Since you've been gone my worlds been dark and grey
You reminded me of brighter days
I hoped you were comin' home to stay
I was headed to church
I was off to drink you away

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't understand why we're living life this way
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say I love you, come back home


*to GOD:
I see no concern of you to bother
whether i did mug or basically played around.
It's up to me to judge my standards.
I should know better.
And since it's a holiday part time job,
it has nothing to do with my education qualification
whether they'll pay me big bucks
since i have yet to get back my results.

Entry.Posted @ 11/22/2003 09:19:00 PM |



Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Shadowed Chaos

Nothing but a shadow of a dream,
Subconscious feeling of strange sensation,
yet unconscious and relaxed
What a pleasant nightmare
and everytime i close my eyes
there's another vivid surprise.
It's like another life waiting for me and chapters unfinished.
Fading when i open my eyes.
I struggle to understand myself.
My brain is at war with the shattered heart
I want to set my own pace and leave behind time.
I wonder, I fantasize, I question myself, I'm left stumped without a clue.
Life and its wonders, what's there in store for me?
I live life for tomorrow. Is it worth while to wait?
Today, Tomorrow, what difference does it make anyways.
Sometimes I repeat the same mistakes
but instead of leaving the situation alone, I 'run' with it.
The result of my unsettled state,
due to the poor judgement and bad choices I make.
I want out, Reality Bites.
Come dance with me in my own little made up world. Any takers?


Ten Best Things' why I love today.
1 Only having two more papers left. Woohoo!
2 The weather was nice to sleep in
3 I did nothing productive today and yet I feel comfortable about it. -Grins-
4 I'm sitting in front of my comp with the cable up instead of tolerating with the 56k for the past week
5 I have a crush on someone (oopsie)
6 I didn't spend any cash thanks to being cooped up at home
7 I cooked mself a delicious meal for dinner
8 Basically I'm crazily mad
9 I'm just killing time entertaining my own stupidity
10 Finally I've reached ten!

Entry.Posted @ 11/18/2003 11:01:00 PM |



Monday, November 17, 2003

I'M B A C K

Now now, how long has it been? Donkey eyon years!
Had the one week break from O's.
And not once did I spend my time hitting the books,
though I tried but this brain of mine is dead and
it can't seem to absorb any important facts.
So I spent my days with the other 2 musketeers (Sann & Min)

Supper to roadblock, Tanning to clubbing.
That's what I've been up too and in a few hours time
I'd be sitting for my Geog paper with not a single clue in the world
how I'm gonna pull through. I'm hoping for a good grade in humans
but maybe I should reconsider that eh.
On a lighter note I have two more papers left. Woohoo!!
After Friday I can burn this uniform and my books.
I wash my hands of Secondary School!

I need to find a job that pays big bucks,
And when I get my first pay cheque
I'll reward myself with retail theraphy and what nots.
Not forgetting that my Darling Min and Derek's birthday
is just around the corner.

I'm crazy paranoid.
I'm suffering from manic depression!
H E L P

Entry.Posted @ 11/17/2003 11:25:00 AM |



Sunday, November 02, 2003

I'd love to fly away from here
Some things still hang vividly against the backdrop of my mind.
Like a brilliant play with the rich black velvet curtains
ready to glide closed over the stage.

I hate you.
I feel so stupid to even bother trying to be friends with you still.
There's so many questions I'd like to ask you.The awful truth.
He told me what you thought of the relationship from the start.
You're darn well am very good with your words.
Whatever that was said was all utter bullshit?
I gave you the benefit of a doubt and all along my intuition was actually right.
Stupid stupid me.

I tried ignoring your presence,
I kept my distance but you're always in my sight.
When you talked to me
I tried to see things in a different way, your point of view,
tried to save the friendship.
It was best if we didn't even acknowledge each other.
I guess it's my own fault
for falling for the same person I should have
never fallen for in the first place.
I hate you, don't you even dare ask me why
and don't even try making conversations with me.

Lately I have been very unhappy.
So she's your girlfriend
you have all the right to believe what she says and trust her
but I don't have all the time in the world to entertain both your nonsense.
Go figure who's telling the truth or who's lying I don't give two fucks about it.
I'm guilt free and I have better things to concentrate on.
I'd rather stay away from the both of you.

Confusion.
Somedays i feel like i'm getting better.
Somedays I dont feel so insane.
But then I realize how temporary this feeling is.
Some people say I'm obsessive compulsive.
Some people say I'm suffering from an anxiety disorder.
Some people say its depression.
I say I'm running from my own madness and confusion.
My own tangled mind.
I dont want out of my skin, I want away from my mind

Entry.Posted @ 11/02/2003 03:17:00 PM |

The Idealist Beguile
::Nur Attahyah . 110186
Individual. Narcissitic .
Indulges in Retail Theraphy .
Complicated . Clubbaholic .
Indecisive . Cynic in Love .
Wary of unfamiliar faces .
Daily dosage of bitching .
Anxiety Disorder . Obsessive Compulsive .
Straight talking - Blunt .
A Racist against her own race .
I seek solitude in my own make believe world .
::Fetish For
The two other Musketeers (SannMin) .
Purple - Pink .
All Sorts of Books .
The girlies .
White Chocolates . Cigarettes .
I drown myself in alcohol .
Adrenaline Rush .
Guys with Chivalrous nature .
Sunflower . Perfumes Colognes .
Caramel . Cheese Cake .
I adore y o u .


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